WTF Happened to Cross Country - A touching article by Aaron Sperling So..Cross Country. Man, what happened to that kid. He was in my AIT class, and we used to see a lot of him at programs. Recently, rumors about the whereabouts of Cross Country have been circling (mostly in my head) and I thought I would go over and examine each and every one of them. Hey, who knows, maybe he is reading this right now and might decide to come to a program again. That would be great, because he was an awkward kid to be around, and made even the saddest of people feel better about their own insecurities. Rumor 1: According to certain undisclosed sources, Cross Country made it big through insider trading. After his money collected into a very large number, Mr. Country decided to make a run from the states and move to Jamaica. If the inside source is correct, Cross Country has really started to enjoy the calming sound of the tide hitting the shore, and the sound of large black men slapping his ass. Rumor 2: Supposedly, according to a reliable tabloid, Cross Country was captured by aliens. Aliens from the distant planet of (can’t be written, the name of the planet is sounded out by clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth) to be exact. At first, Country did not like the anal probing, but after awhile started to take a liking to it. After several months of being held captive, he decided to become a part of the society he had been captured by, and fit right in. He has now changed his name to Tittikakarse (Bob) and married the governor of the planet, while making a modest living as a pool boy. Rumor 3: The final rumor that will be discussed today states that Cross Country has found a wormhole leading to another time period. One day while walking to the public library to pick up the latest installment in the Harry Potter series, our dear acquaintance slipped on the pavement, but when he went to stand his ground he was in a world different than the one he had come to know and love. For he had stood up in 1865. He walked around randomly for awhile because he is just that kind of a crazy kid, and somehow ended up at the Ford Theatre, and next thing you know, he takes the bullet for Abraham Lincoln. Cross Country, according to this rumor, unfortunately died, but allowed Lincoln to become one of the most famous bass players of all time. Rock on. So, Cross Country (the kid formally known as Adam Danoff should you actually like to know) has been missing from the chapter for quite some time now. The above rumors are nothing more than that, rumors. Have you heard any other rumors regarding the whereabouts of Adam Danoff (Cross Country)? Send them to brunion1519@hotmail.com, and they will be posted in a follow up article! How bout’ dem apples? Or how bout deez? Deez what you might ask? DEEZ NUTZ!! I’m out.